ASHLEY MADISON: THE SECRET IS OUT

Ashley Madison is not the cause of affairs. Ashley Madison is a symptom of a growing problem infecting communities and families around the globe.  Many believed they had found a safe way to have their cake and eat too.  Now that reality has unleashed, they have been told the buffet is over and now it is time pay.  You are always free to make your own choices, but you don't get to choose your consequences.

PHYSICAL - The physical beginning of the Ashley Madison kingdom was built online.  Men and women used the anonymity the site provided to seek relationships outside of their marriages. Then, if the chats and flirts in the virtual world proved promising, they would move to the physical reality and take the "relationship" to the next level.  This model proved successful for many years as Ashley Madison grew in users.  Until, of course, the security of the site was breached and the users were exposed.  The secret, double lives of its users were now published for the world and their spouses to view.  As the old Chinese Proverb teaches: "If you don't want anyone to find out, don't do it."  Some people that hid behind the screen of darkness found their physical world turned upside down, as the cloak of Ashley Madison came crashing to the ground.


PSYCHOLOGICAL - There are several perspectives to consider regarding psychological implications.  The user of Ashley Madison believes that there is an unmet sexual need or lacking of emotional intimacy in the marriage.  The offended spouse is feeling abandoned and betrayed.  Additionally, the families of those outed for a spouses infidelity because of the data breach are also damaged in the wake of scandal.  Divorce and distrust in marriage have a domino effect and hurts children too. Many lose their belief that love lasts, and feel torn between their love for their parents and                                                               choosing one parent's side over the parent.  One person's decision
                                                      to secretly have an affair does not only impact themselves.  

SOCIAL - The social implication is an interesting aspect of the Ashley Madison data breach.  Now that the system has been exposed and hacked, the inner workings of the business model are available to dissect.  The married straight men were baited by "female bots," who are not even real women. Also, only 8% of females were users on the site.  Ashley Madison catered more to these straight men and engaged as an organization in the interactions they experienced.  Socially, these men were seeking a fantasy, an escape from the mundane existence of the work, wife, kids, and PTA. Evidently, the role these husbands and fathers are playing at home are not meeting their needs or expectations.

CULTURAL - The popularity of this type of website speaks volumes as to the values and ideals that are held in societies across the world.  Since Ashley Madison was available in over 30 languages people in many nations participated in seeking affairs and relationships that were married. Culturally, people have become desensitized as to the sanctity and purpose of a marriage.  Television shows, movies, and even cartoons depict people having affairs on spouses.  Over 50% of married women will have affairs, and 60% of married men will have affairs.  As the familiarity with watching people cheat on spouses becomes a regular occurrence it is not surprising that Ashley Madison gained such a wide spread following.  The surprise is that everyone is surprised, and then pretend to act like they have never thought anything like this site could exist.  It exists everyday in everyone's home when they turn on their televisions.

TEMPORAL -Social Media has taken Ashley Madison and exposed not only its users, but is also broadcasting its inner workings and how it targeted specific users.  When the hackers breached the security which Ashley Madison had promised its users, it needed the channels that social media provided to make its threats and wreak the most havoc.  This venue was provided in real time and reached the hacker's desired audiences exactly when they desired.  Then, without the hackers trying, twitter, Facebook, and news outlets began to add fuel to the fire.  Reading through some tweets about the scandal reveal that there is less outrage about the hack than when Target and Home Depot experienced breaches.  Most felt that the Ashley Madison users deserved this timely consequence.

Eventually the lies you live will become your truth.  This topic is very personal to me and my opinion is that if people want to live the single lifestyle, then they should not play the types of games that are enabled by websites like Ashley Madison.  Our society teaches through its media that relationships are meant to be broken and twisted.  We shouldn't pretend to be appalled when our society reflects what it experiences through these channels.